Humans are complex by nature, and it is part of what makes us all so incredible. We all bring different strengths and skillsets. Some, we find on our own. Others, we are given by the people around us or experiences that we have. As we get older and continue to evolve, our sense of self and identity takes on more, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapists and coaches believe that we should celebrate this unique family of traits that we all possess. In this article, we will discuss what IFS is—and why this form of therapy is so revolutionary, even decades after its first introduction.
IFS Therapy: An Overview
There are many different schools of thought in psychology and plenty of different approaches to helping our minds. Internal Family Systems therapy is one approach to therapy that was fully developed in the nineties. Decades later, it is still helping people to learn who they are and how that information can be used to help them grow and live a more positive life.
Defining Internal Family Systems Therapy
Internal Family Systems therapy is a style of therapy that operates with the belief that we all have an internal family system that is composed of different parts or subpersonalities. These parts work together like a family unit. When we understand this unit, we can help our systems to harmonize. These different parts speak to our personalities, interests, and fears—so understanding them is very important.
In this approach to therapy, therapists and IFS-informed coaches will work with you directly to understand these individual parts and the areas where they overlap. However, you can start your own practice as well. IFS therapy can also be practiced at home using self-therapy techniques and IFS tools. By exploring these unique traits and beliefs, you can learn more about your mind and heal your internal system, even if you have found yourself impacted by trauma.
Is Internal Family Systems Therapy Effective?
We are all different and respond to things differently. One area where IFS therapy shines is that it caters to this specifically. Some people find certain approaches to therapy to be restrictive or more difficult because of their personalities. IFS therapy is an inclusive approach to therapy that encourages you to explore the different parts of your mind instead of pushing them away. By embracing and catering to these parts, IFS therapy proves to be not only effective but also fairly comfortable, for those who embrace it.
The effectiveness of IFS therapy has been demonstrated in several studies. One study determined that IFS therapy successfully created a decline in depressive symptoms at the same rate as other common approaches to therapy for female college students suffering from depression (Haddock, et al, 2016). Another study determined that IFS therapy helped people with PTSD to show a significant reduction in symptoms in as little as a month (Hodgdon, et al, 2022). For different people from different backgrounds, Internal Family Systems therapy can have great results.
Can IFS Therapy Help Families?
If you have ever watched a sitcom, you are likely very familiar with the idea that our personalities can play a huge role in how we interact with others. No one understands this better than families. When people are close, live in close proximity, and spend a substantial amount of time interacting, the dynamic can get complicated.
IFS therapy helps us to better understand ourselves. It also helps us to better understand others and their unique parts as well, making it really effective for a family dynamic. When we understand ourselves and the people around us better, we can be more effective at opening dialogues, discussing problems, and even being vulnerable with one another. This form of therapy can be helpful for individuals and families alike.
Your Mind as a System
Most of us understand that our minds are a system to a certain extent. You might know that drinking coffee causes your nerves to spike—or that you get really unpleasant when you are hungry. These simple inputs and outputs make sense, but in IFS theory, we don’t believe that these are the only systems in place. In IFS, the mind’s system has different parts that are comparable to the dynamics you might find in a family.
Within the human mind, there are an undefined number of parts. The number of parts might change as we get older or as we develop in certain ways. Everything from a new hobby to a traumatic incident can influence our parts. The focus of IFS therapy is to help you to recognize, acknowledge, and understand these parts to create a greater sense of harmony. Let’s explore the internal system more thoroughly.
The Self
At the head of the system is the Self—and this is a very important part of the system. It is the job of the self to manage the internal system or “family” so there is peace inside. When this doesn’t happen, we end up dysregulated. Our internal parts might be at odds with each other, causing us to make decisions that don’t necessarily align with what we want.
Think of your Self as your chief decision-maker. This part of your system is supposed to listen to the other parts, then make decisions based on those feelings or other pieces of information. Your Self is strong, and when you learn more about your internal system, you will find that it only gets stronger and more effective at managing your internal family.
The Parts
Our internal parts are often referred to as subpersonalities, which are parts of your personality that exist independently of one another. Parts can vary significantly from one to the next, and they can also have different levels of impact on your greater sense of self.
These parts speak to us, sometimes at different volumes. One part might be nothing more than a casual gut feeling, while another part might come with an outpouring of very direct and powerful thoughts. Learning to understand these parts allows us to take our internal family from dysfunctional to safe, loving, and understanding.
It is important to understand that these parts are always with us, even if we don’t always hear from them. Some parts only show up in specific situations and remain dormant the rest of the time. Others might hang around in everything that we do. Our parts can also maintain certain beliefs and emotions that might have different impacts on us depending on our environment.
Parts are commonly broken down into three different primary roles.
Managers
While it is easy to assume that the Self would be a manager, this actually isn’t the case. A manager is a type of part that is responsible for maintaining control among your other parts. Think of managers as the mind’s caregivers. These parts are committed to helping the other parts to stay appeased and happy so we can stay focused and remain productive.
Our internal managers use a variety of techniques to help keep our other parts in check. They might make decisions that are designed to appease other parts, keeping us from feeling pain or discomfort. On the other hand, they might control or reign in a certain part, forcing it to comply so it doesn’t negatively impact us. The approaches may vary, particularly while you are exploring these parts in therapy.
Exiles
As much as we all wish that life was like a storybook, the reality is that life comes with its fair share of challenges. While we grow and develop, we inevitably experience negative moments that can impact us for a very long time. Though it is easy to assume that trauma is always a response to accidents or clear abuse, that isn’t necessarily the case. When we are young, trauma can be something like finding out that a friend is spreading rumors about you because of something that you did.
When we experience these moments where trauma or pain are present, it is very common for the impacted parts to isolate. This isolation can be deeply damaging, forcing parts away from the greater system and the regulation that it can offer. Our minds do this to stop us from experiencing pain or fear, but this isn’t what we want. Following a particularly bad experience, Exiles can be made.
Exiles are those isolated parts of the mind that we keep tucked away in the shadows. These parts can be present for decades, sometimes buried so deeply that we don’t even realize that they are still influencing us. A well-regulated internal family will embrace these parts, welcoming them back and encouraging them to heal from that traumatic event rather than hold onto it.
Firefighters
Firefighters are our mind’s response to managing Exiles and the problems that can come with them. These parts are focused on actively stopping Exiles and the extreme feelings that they bring. Since reacting based on an Exile’s belief system can be damaging, Firefighters come in to help solve the problem.
While it is easy to assume that Firefighters are the good guys in our minds. This really isn’t the case. Firefighters have good intentions—they want to protect us—unfortunately, they really aren’t that good at it. A Firefighter’s approach to an Exile on the loose is to bring in the distractions, and this can be counterproductive and dangerous.
The Firefighters are highly reactionary, forcing us to act on impulse—for better or worse. A Firefighter might encourage us to partake in risky behaviors simply to shut down the influence of the Exile. These parts can lead us to turn to external stimuli as a method of management. Common examples include sex, drugs, excessive eating, drinking, or any other risky behavior that can serve as a distraction and help us to forget what the Exile is worried about.
What Happens When We Look at These Parts?
Since our minds have these complicated families within them, it is always going to help to understand them. In the same way that working to understand the people around you can help you to live more peacefully alongside them, creating this balance in our minds can have wonderful effects.
We Create a Sense of Harmony
The ultimate goal of Internal Family Systems therapy is to create a sense of harmony. This is accomplished by identifying, acknowledging, and understanding our different parts. When each part feels supported and heard, we are more capable of finding balance and control with them. It helps us to learn more about ourselves—and to feel happier with that sense of self.
We Recognize Polarization
Polarization occurs when the different parts within us are at odds with one another—like a part that hates studying and a part that wants to enter a field that requires a higher education. One of the greatest benefits that come with Internal Family Systems therapy is identifying and managing polarization to achieve more balance.
It is fairly common to feel like you are at odds with yourself, and it can be a fairly unpleasant feeling. By identifying polarization, we empower ourselves to look within and find these polarizing views. When we recognize them, we can navigate them to appease our internal family and help us to live a life that is more aligned with our Self.
We Learn to Address Our Parts
Our parts can often be at odds, and while inconvenient, it doesn’t make certain parts any less relevant. In order for internal harmony to be achieved, we must know how to address our parts. This means being accepting and caring about each individual part so that it feels heard when we make a specific decision. Ultimately, this sense of understanding can help us to feel more positive and engage in behaviors that align with what we want for ourselves.
We Gain a Stronger Sense of Self
Internal Family Systems therapy is really a journey of self-discovery. Whether you work with a therapist, an IFS-informed coach, or you embrace IFS principles in your own self-therapy, you will learn a lot. As you define your mind and its parts, you will feel more confident and at peace with your personal identity.
We Improve Dynamics Internally and Externally
Dynamic shifts are the ultimate focus of IFS therapy, and they can have really powerful results. An internal dynamic shift can help you to support and benefit your own internal dynamic. This means finding balance despite all of your individual complicated parts. Creating a sense of understanding and opening the dialogue between your different parts can help you to live a more comfortable and fulfilling life.
We aren’t the only ones who benefit from a dynamic shift with IFS therapy. Families and tight-knit groups can really benefit from these shifts as well. As a person increases their own internal understanding, they will naturally bring a healthier dynamic to the table. When several family members also explore IFS therapy, it is possible to create a more pleasant and loving family dynamic. This shift is based on increasing your understanding of yourself and your loved ones.
How Can I Get Started with an IFS Practice?
With all that IFS therapy can offer, you might be curious about exploring it for yourself. Though working with a therapist or coach can be beneficial, you can start with your own IFS therapy practice at home with the right tools.
Self-Therapy
Self-therapy is the practice of using therapy practices by yourself. When it is done with care, it can help you to cope and improve your mindset. You can explore Internal Family Systems practices with a few simple approaches.
- Acknowledge your feelings
- Ask yourself where your feelings are coming from
- Begin to identify your parts
- Look for areas of polarization within your personality
- Talk to your parts to better understand their needs
- Practice patience and understanding, even when you behave in ways you are not happy about
- Be aware of what physical parts of your body are influenced by your mind’s parts (e.g. stomach nausea in response to anxiety)
IFS Self-Guided Meditation
Meditation is a powerful tool that can help you to explore your mind more fully. You can use mediation in a variety of ways following IFS principles. The ultimate goal is to focus on your mind, its parts, and the ways that you feel about them. While listening to calming music or sitting in silence, focus on exploring your mind and its needs.
- Unburden your parts using reflection on the past
- Walk your mind down an imaginary path where you meet and acknowledge your different parts
- Face your fears or causes for anxiety and allow your mind to find peace with them
- Talk with your troubled parts and seek to hear their needs
- Create a safe and quiet space in your mind that is free of judgment
IFS Journaling
Journaling is another powerful therapeutic tool that can help you to work through some of your inner complexities. It can also be wonderful for helping you to face certain problems and heal from them by talking through everything privately. The goal of this approach is to create a stronger sense of connection with your parts and hear them out.
- Allow your parts to “vent” about certain concerns
- Seek to explore the reasoning behind how your parts feel
- Explore any challenges from your day and your responses to them, then the underlying causes
- Give yourself permission to simply exist, focusing on anything that feels relevant at the moment
- Take time to address what you have learned from these explorations
The Takeaway
Internal Family Systems therapy is focused on understanding and treating all parts of the mind, not just one part of it. Committed to helping to unravel the interesting and complex pieces that make us who are, IFS therapy can be beneficial for us and our loved ones. Your mind is special and deserves to be supported in a way that speaks to all of it!
To learn more, contact us directly.
Efficacy Study Citations:
- Haddock, S. A., Weiler, L. M., Trump, L. J., & Henry, K. L. (2016). The efficacy of Internal Family Systems therapy in the treatment of depression among female college students: A pilot study. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 43(1), 131–144. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12184
- Hilary B. Hodgdon, Frank G. Anderson, Elizabeth Southwell, Wendy Hrubec & Richard Schwartz (2022) Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) among Survivors of Multiple Childhood Trauma: A Pilot Effectiveness Study, Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 31:1, 22-43, DOI: 1080/10926771.2021.2013375