What Are the Parts of IFS?

Internal family systems therapy is a unique approach to therapy that focuses on and highlights the differences that exist within each of us. Within this school of therapy, there are different “parts” that exist within us that can influence us in unexpected ways. This style of therapy aims to focus on these parts and their impact on who we are. Let’s explore internal family systems therapy and the various parts that make up the conscious mind.

The Definition of the Internal Family Systems Model

The internal family systems (IFS) model has been around for a while now, and more people are learning how valuable it is for their healing journey. This model focuses on the concept that our conscious mind and personality is actually broken down into unique parts. These parts each serve their own purpose in assisting with our mental health—but they can also lead to problems. IFS therapy focuses on identifying each of these parts and working with them in order to create a sense of harmony.

Why Are There Different Parts Within IFS?

For some people, breaking down the mind and personality into different parts might seem a little odd—so what purpose does it truly serve? These individual parts can have different influences on us. By taking the time to address these parts we learn more about ourselves and get closer to healing.

What Are These Parts?

In the IFS model, there are three primary parts—managers, firefighters, and exiles. These three parts all make up who are and show up in different situations. This can influence how we react and how we perceive certain situations as well. These parts are a piece of us that help us to maintain harmony and move forward as a whole instead of just individual parts.

How Do Parts Influence IFS Therapy?

When you embrace IFS therapy, you will find that your parts play a large role in each exercise. This is because IFS therapy focuses on addressing each of your individual parts in order to hear them out and work together with them. By identifying and acknowledging our different parts, we understand ourselves more wholly and can take active steps to move forward in a better way. Understanding these parts in combination with IFS therapy has proven to be beneficial for a variety of different circumstances and conditions, including depression among female college students and even physical conditions, like arthritis.

Your combination of parts is different than anyone else’s, and that is why IFS therapy is such a deeply personal process. More people are even choosing to embrace IFS therapy techniques using self-therapy practices for this reason. Your parts and how they influence you will influence how you approach your therapy.

How Do Parts Work Together?

Within internal family systems therapy, it is important to remember that these parts, while different, are part of a greater whole. Your whole is going to be a combination of your parts. In practice, this means that your parts tend to influence one another and work together—for better or worse in some cases.

The relationships shared by each of the parts are relevant—and it often plays a role in how they are defined. Your parts will interact, often in an attempt to influence or manage each other when you face certain circumstances. Each part plays its own role in the greater dynamic, and this is what makes up much of what we perceive as our personality.

Why Do We Break Down These Parts?

Defining the parts is a big consideration in IFS therapy. By taking the time to identify and understand our parts, we can better understand how they work together. When we understand how they work together, this is where the real magic happens. Understanding how your parts influence each other can help you to better understand yourself and your actions, allowing you to create more harmony within.

The Parts of the Internal Family Systems Model

Before you can understand internal family systems therapy, you must understand the parts associated with this model. As you work to better understand the parts, you will likely be able to see some examples of these parts within yourself.

The Self

The self is, in every sense, at the top of the pyramid. It is you, the version of you that is meant to be in control and longs for that inner sense of harmony. Your self is who you are—especially without the influence of your other parts.

The IFS model focuses heavily on the sense of being whole, and in this context, your self is the whole. It is your true center, the part of you that naturally exists at all times. When you look beyond all of your parts, you will find your true self, which keeps them all together.

What Role Does the Self Have?

The self plays a vital role in IFS therapy—and it plays a truly vital role for your parts. It is the job of the true self to identify, connect with, and heal the different parts of this self. This is the ultimate focus behind every IFS therapy session.

Your true self wants harmony above all else, and with work, it can have the power to create harmony—even following extreme periods of discord. This healing touch allows the other parts to relax and step away from some of their more destructive habits. When we use our sense of self to heal each individual part, we create a space where our parts can come together and collaborate in a peaceful way.

Is the Self Truly One of the Parts?

Though the self is often listed as one of the parts, it isn’t really a part, so to speak. The internal family systems model recognizes three parts, then places the self as a point above those parts. However, for many people, it is easier to see the self as another part of the greater system, particularly if you are struggling to uncover your sense of self.

How Does the Self Help Us to Heal?

Healing is what the self wants, and with help, it has the ability to heal those parts that might be causing us problems. It does this by acknowledging each part and welcoming it to the discussion in a sense. Acknowledging each part allows you to connect with that part, and from that point, you can start to explore ways to help soothe that part and thank it for its contributions while moving towards a more agreeable whole.

The Managers

Managers are one of the parts within the whole, and they are a crucial part of survival for many of us. This particular part is focused on protecting us and maintaining our sense of stability. While this might seem like a good thing, you will learn that each part can help or hinder us depending on the situation.

What Role Do Managers Maintain?

The job of managers is, as the name implies, to manage. Managers are focused on maintaining other parts of us in a way that is most likely to help us to be comfortable and survive in a given situation. Their big goal is to protect us from unpleasant circumstances, and they are quite good at it.

How Do Managers Help Us?

Managers help us by focusing on protecting us from the world around us and within us—and this is a very important characteristic. Managers can help us to avoid pain by changing the way that we behave. Always learning, managers are interested in helping us to go with the flow. They will help us to make adjustments in order to support a more positive experience, no matter what we face.

How Do Managers Hinder Us?

Too much of a good thing can be bad, and managers can go overboard when it comes to protecting us. When this happens, it is possible for us to end up overcompensating in ways that might not necessarily be healthy. At times, this might lead to self-sacrificing or self-harming behaviors that do not serve our level of comfort or celebrate our sense of self.

Managers Example

Managers can be responsible for masking behaviors, like when neurodiverse individuals sacrifice their own comfort in order to blend in with those around them. It can also be seen in people-pleasing, which is another self-sacrificing behavior that can be adopted in order to avoid discomfort or to seek assurance or rewards. We can also see managers in perfectionism, where people focus on always being perfect to avoid ridicule and gain support.

The Firefighters

Most of us are fairly thankful for the role that firefighters play in society, but that doesn’t mean that they are quite as helpful in the mind. Firefighters are focused on putting out fires. The route that they choose can determine whether they help or hinder us.

What Role Do Firefighters Play?

Firefighters are committed to their jobs. In the mind, it is the role of firefighters to respond to the third type of part—exiles. Your firefighters are going to show up any time that exiles make themselves present in any kind of destructive way.

Distraction is the number one goal of firefighters in the IFS model. When they see the exiles making an appearance, they are first on the scene. This is because when exiles make an appearance, they often bring negative emotions and negative outcomes. Firefighters try to help us to avoid those unpleasant emotions by offering distractions.

How Do Firefighters Help Us?

In the internal family systems model, firefighters are remarkably well-meaning. They want to help you to avoid shame, pain, and discomfort following an incident. When your exiles make trouble, they want to help you to bounce back from it. This is a noble goal, and in certain circumstances, it can be helpful. Unfortunately, our helpful firefighters can also cause quite a bit of trouble as well.

How Do Firefighters Hinder Us?

The problems with firefighters arise when it comes to distracting us. For firefighters, almost any distraction is a good distraction—even if it is damaging to you. This can lead to you seeking out distractions that will work to distract you but will do so in a way that can also cause harm. Of course, some distractions are noticeably milder and less risky, but they might still be destructive, especially when there are several of them.

Firefighters Example

Firefighters crave distraction and will seek it out when we start feeling poorly. The distractions that they choose can differ depending on the problem, and their level of impact can differ significantly too.

Distractions can start with simple or less noticeable distractions, like binge-watching a comforting tv show or working extra hours during the week. However, not all examples are this subtle. In more extreme cases, firefighters can lead us to use drugs excessively, partake in binge eating, and seek out unsafe sexual situations.

The Exiles

While managers and firefighters are often seen as a response, exiles are more commonly considered a consequence. This part of the whole is born when we reject ourselves or cut ourselves off to some extent. These are the parts that firefighters are looking to control—and managers can make them.

What Role Do Exiles Play?

Exiles are parts of us that are in distress. Their role is really just to respond to an unfortunate situation, and they tend to demonstrate the same negative emotions—or even compounding emotions—after the event has passed. When something triggers us, exiles often make an appearance.

How Are Exiles Formed?

Exiles occur when we take a part of ourselves and shove it deep down, or disconnect from it in any way. Most people consider exiles to be formed during childhood—and this is true—but that is not the only time that exiles are made. These parts are made when we deny a part of ourselves as a response to trauma, pain, or shame. They are wounded in a sense and can stay stuck in the past, even if we don’t consciously address them.

What Happens When Exiles Act Out?

When exiles act out, our other parts respond to them—but what happens to us? An exile acting out can cause us to behave in an irregular way or lead us to experience psychological discomfort. This is why our other parts try to stop them.

Exiles Example

Everyone’s exiles are different, but they are often born from a moment of self-rejection. Exiles might be the emotional response to a tragedy when we were young, a time when we felt humiliated or rejected, or even a time when someone did something unpleasant to us. What matters is that we push them away, which can hinder our healing process.

IFS and Self-Therapy

More people are exploring self-therapy as a comfortable and safe way to improve their wellness. With IFS-focused self-therapy, you will work on identifying and interacting with your parts in order to create peace and harmony. There are many different opportunities to explore this type of therapy.

 

Some common variations of IFS self-therapy include self-guided meditations, guided meditations (experienced alone), journaling, and using common IFS protocols mixed with self-therapy techniques on your own time. The ultimate goal of these approaches is to help you to connect your parts and begin your healing process. This means identifying and welcoming your exiles, thanking your managers and relieving them from duty, and telling your firefighters that you don’t need to be distracted and have the strength to work through it. With IFS self-therapy techniques, you can begin to heal one day at a time on your own terms.